Sleeping at Last.

Sleeping at last has been taking over my mind lately. What graceful and beautiful words they use to express things like the meaning of life in general. So good.

I'd love to write like that one day.

Life lately is one giant catalyst for change. Things around me are changing like crazy, some beautiful, like the leaves that fall on the corner of my street just before campus. I love walking around that corner every day, when I walk I'm reminded of what you said about the sidewalk being the runway and any and every sound is the applause of adoring fans, flashes of cameras saying "you're beautiful. you're good enough." 

But, back to the idea of change...

I feel like change is constant, its always happening. Thats safe to say, I think. 

When I step around that corner, it feels like a scene in a movie where the audience sees a change happen whether it be a season, a time change, or the camera pans and the angle changes and suddenly you feel like, "hey, this person gets it, they finally get it." Get what, you ask?

They get that life is changing, constantly. In that one moment, they get life, because they are present, fully present, fully awake. 

When I turn this corner by my house, thats how I feel. I feel awake, I feel alive, I feel present.

Its like God is saying, "you're beautiful to me, you're good enough."

I think this is what I'm missing. I'm missing what it means to constantly believe that I'm good enough; for something, someone, anything, anyone.

I am good enough, the Lord speaks that over me.

That, and the right amount of sleep every night, is what I'm missing.

I want someone to speak that over me, that I'm beautiful, that I'm good enough, someone to fight for me. I'm waiting.

I'm not sure of the purpose for this tonight, but its my mind spoken into light, spoken in the presence of truth. That, I'm okay with.