Tuesday, September 20, 2011

3:08 am

I'm going to be 100% honest. I don't like where I am right now.
I'm scared, hurting, discouraged, and feeling alone. For all the wrong reasons, and I'm turning to lies rather than the truth the Lord speaks over me.
If I can be totally vulnerable, this is exactly where I am and exactly where I'd rather not be, but this is also exactly where the Lord desires to show me that I have no limits.
I have no limits because He has no limits.
I feel fear and pain, but it is not mine.
I know discouragement, but this is not truth.

My identity rests in the Lord and his word.
He is not far, I am not above Him, and he is not a cosmic cop out to get me.

He is my father, and I am blessed to be considered by a God so perfect.

Am I happy with where I am? No. Do I wish I could go back a few months and prepare myself for all of this? Yes. Do I wish I could rewind time? Yes.
But I can't, and the Lord has a purpose. I am being prepared, and He misses me, He misses my heart and I miss Him back.

These are the things I think about at 3:13 am on a Tuesday when I should be sleeping:
Where am I supposed to be?
How far off from it am I?
How could I ever forget a God so loving?
How could a God so good love me?
I see my identity and I'm not living in it.
This is changing and I have the authority to claim this.
Leehhgo.

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