On being home.

Its been so nice to be home lately, but only for the sole reason that I've missed my parents and the community that I have in them.

I don't fully hate this town, hate is even too strong of a word these days.

But there is still something to be said about a lack of authenticity around here, and an excess of arrogance...which makes sense why I was the way I was for so long.

I think the best thing that's happened to me was moving out and realizing that home really is where my heart is, not my person.

I love that I can rest in that hope, home is where my heart is...not where I am physically, and I'm more than excited for the day that my home and my location are lined up.

Another thing other than the idea of home thats been on the forefront of my mind lately, is this idea that I'm not perfect. I mean, I've grown up hearing and trying to believe it, but it never stopped me from striving for it.

Well, lately that idea has been beyond shattered in my mind and life and I've never felt more freedom from it in my life. Its wonderful :)

This summer and the fact that I'll be in another country loving people in the name of Jesus has a lot to do with this though. Absolutely.

I'm going to be with a team of people who aren't expecting perfection by any means, but devotion. Not that every step is the right one, but that my heart behind my steps is pure and desiring to honor the Lord.

I'm not too worried, except for the fact that I don't want to feel judged and I want to break that idea immediately.

I've got all these fears and ideas bouncing around my head, and I'd like them to stop for a second and just breathe so I can do the same.

Dear summer,

I once asked you to break my heart for what the Lord breaks for but to leave my legs so I can at least stand. I'm still desiring the same heart for this summer.

Go easy on me, I'm not super woman.

Love, Sam.