Tere, Tere, Tere!

A letter written to you, copied and pasted to try to even come close to explaining what the Lord is doing in my heart.
"Hello, Hello, Hello! Good day! So, its about 2:30 pm of the second full day of camp. For some reason, my heart is heavy and I just wanted to e-mail you when I had a quick minute to sit and just be for the first time today. Working with my team has been amazing and there are a few Estonian traditions that I've taken part in that have made this an interesting experience...like sauna...they do it like twice a week european style...naked. Awkwarrrdd hahahah but there have been a lot of funny stories. Being here seems real but thinking about being at home seems the opposite of a reality. Its weird, its like the world, or mine at least just paused. Now, I'm sitting in a place where my heart feels at work and like theres movement and that I'm found in this love, in the arms of love (as hillsong united sings.) Its a frightening, amazing, and a full feeling all at once. You met me at a critical point in my life. I don't know if you know that or not, but the last year (and the years to come, I'm sure) has been and will be absolutely nuts. The Lord has completely taken control of my heart and is pulling me along. I'm terrified to let go of Him, but I'm terrified to follow. I love it here, but I'm scared the Lord is going to tell me to live here, and if that's the case, then its going to be such a hard move. Estonia is a dark, dark place, but the spirit here is so authentic that thinking about it and writing this to you is making me cry. I told an eleven year old girl yesterday that she had a purpose, that she meant something to someone, to me, and that it wasn't by chance that she was here. Someone translated for me, but I feel like she knew what I had said because before the translation she was already crying. No one had ever told her she had a purpose before. My heart is broken, my spirit is vulnerable, and I feel like I no longer have the ability to make plans because the Lord just does what he wants, and I just go. Dang, that scares me. I guess the reason in me telling you all of this, is that I need to ground myself in some things instead of just floating around in the spirit, and saying this to you makes it real for me. "I don't know where I'm going. I've been blinded by the truth. Between the graveyard and the garden there's a road that leads to you.' -Jason Upton. I have no clue where the Lord is going or pulling me, but I know it leads to Him. That's my mind and my heart this exact moment. Pray that I won't get distracted and that I can stand so the enemy flees. Satan has no claim on this nation.
Psalm 2:8 "only ask, and I will give you the nations as your inheritance" Shootdang. Especially be praying for this 11 year old girl (Kaia-Liisa) and her heart, that she be planted in good soil and not fall on the path to be trampled or taken by the enemy. I want her so badly to believe that she is loved by the one who created her, the one who created ev-ry-thing. Amen? Amen. I hope you're well. I'm alive, and I love it here.
Talk to you soon :)

In Him,
Samantha"

Now, I'm back in the Capital of Estonia, Tallinn, after being on the Island of Saareema, and I can barely believe that we're leaving tomorrow morning. I'm not ready, and my heart has begun to find its roots.
I'm excited to be so rooted in the Lord, and to continue to love him no matter where my roots are planted.

So for now, just go. After that, breathe. Then, we'll see :)

Estonia, I'm crazy about you.